once again, santa was a victim of inter-stellar mugging. this was the third time, and it was getting old. speaking of old, he was definitely getting too old for this.
just last night, christmas eve, he was out on his yearly journey, his eight tiny reindeer leaping through the skies toward their destinations. he was almost done – just a few of the aleutians left to drop down chimneys and leave goodies, then it was a quick right toward home. he could smell the hot chocolate laced with bailey’s already. he was dreaming of his comfy bed. his reindeer were dreaming of carrots and oats.
then, out of nowhere, they came for him. it was like they had a wormhole homed in specifically on him every christmas eve. suddenly santa and his sleigh were bathed in a bright blue-white light; the reindeer reared, the sleigh shuddered, and they were beamed aboard.
“not again,” santa muttered. he decided to just close his eyes and let them do their thing.
once in the hull of the ship (it was a huge ship – santa more than once wondered how on earth, with all the fancy detection systems the countries around the world had, that no one had detected it. he had checked the news each of the previous two times he’d been zapped, and nothing), the speedy little suckers swarmed around his sleigh. they were children, climbing all over his sleigh and nosing into his bag. whether or not they were actually children or just transformed to look like kids so he wouldn’t be freaked out, santa didn’t know. all he knew was that he couldn’t kick a kaboodle of kids outta his sleigh.
so he sighed and let them take over. they took his candy canes, his chocolate, the remaining presents, his stash of hot chocolate (sans bailey’s for the sleigh ride), the tinsel in the glove compartment, cookies and candies, the extra stockings, jingle bells – even his naughty list! (he was getting to the age where he forgot often and so needed a list).
then they pulled him from the sleigh, and he obliged. the first time he had protested, but learned that was a mistake when they knocked him out cold and he didn’t wake up for another week. his tummy was certainly grumbling for a sugar cookie by that point.
santa stumbled to the circle in the center of the hull under a bright light. his reindeer snuffled, whites of their eyes showing, and stomped their feet.
“it’s ok lads. i’ll see you soon.” each time his sleigh and reindeer had landed safely at home in the north pole, none worse for the wear except for being stripped of anything of value and a frantic ms. claus.
a murmur in a weird language unknown to santa (and he knew all the languages) went up among the group of alien children who had led him over to the circle, then he felt a familiar swooping sensation, and glimpsing one last look at the horde overtaking his sleigh, he was gone.
*****
his suit was getting a little warm, and why on earth was his comfy bed so unbearable this morning? his mittened hands went up to rub his sandy morning eyes, and they opened on a cityscape. and then it hit him.
mugged again.