#yesallwomen … but

found on pinterest.

found on pinterest.

here’s a slight beef i have with the bunch of recent calls to draw attention to the rape culture, #yesallwomen, and a call for women to be able to wear whatever they want (ALL OF WHICH I AGREE WITH):

people are sexual beings.

i know; it’s a hard concept to grasp.

i agree that if it’s hot outside, ladies should be able to wear whatever they like without drawing attention to themselves. BUT.

but, to teach boys that girls are not sexual objects? that’s like trying to teach people that they don’t need water. (asexuals aside – sorry asexuals i may offend.)

i am not condoning that shorts and sleeveless tops be banned in schools – i think that’s ludicrous. but i will argue that most high school girls know when what they’re wearing will attract the attention of the opposite sex. besides, how many times do high school girls go to football games to take a gander at the players’ tight pants? i don’t see tight football pants being banned anytime soon. that’s a double standard if i ever saw one. a recent news phenomenon case in point: the good-looking felon in the news recently.

i am not defending cat calls, lewd gestures, rapists, any of that. i understand that when women are the ones catcalling, men (generally) don’t feel threatened because they don’t have the pervasive fear of assault that most women are able to claim. physically, men will generally be able to overpower women and do what they’d like, whereas women can’t claim the same.

but perhaps instead of separating people from their sexual sides, how about teaching everyone that all people deserve respect? how about instead of saying “no, you can’t be attracted to that person”, say “you can be attracted to that person, but if s/he doesn’t reciprocate the feeling or aren’t ok with your gestures, keep it to yourself and respect his/her decision.”

ultimately, i think our puritanical view towards sex in the country is really contributing a lot toward this. slut-shaming is definitely a thing, and if we could move past the fact that women have sex for fun and because it’s nice and it doesn’t matter how many, with whom, or how often, then i think we could take a step in the right direction. quit judging and start respecting others’ decisions.

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