ran across this list of 100 things straight white females “love”. i thought i’d do a line-by-line analysis.

1. Greek Yogurt
   depends on the greek yogurt. are you talking about that crap chobani? then absolutely not. greek gods’ nectar OF the gods? then absolutely yes. unfortunately, most people are talking about crappy chobani.
2. Talking about their feelings
   NO
3. Oatmeal
   YES
4. Christmas
   who doesn’t like christmas??
5. Wooden boxes
   huh?
6. Anthropologie
   the only reason i know what this is is because one of my straight white female friends talk about it. i doubt they make things that fit me. we’ll go wtih no.
7. Beards
   ok, i’ll give you beards 🙂
8. Instagram
   i use it for work, but don’t see the appeal.
9. Farmers’ Markets
   YES bring me to a farmers’ market!!
10. Talking about helping the poor
    uh, why not help the poor?
11. Teaching
    NO NO NO NONONONONONOOOOO
12. Renewable Energy
    well, this only makes sense. yes.
13. Froyo
    just give me ice cream.
14. Pretending to be interested in sports
    no. i don’t feign interest.
15. Getting UTIs
    who LIKES this??? yuck.
16. Boots
    the boots i like are probably not the kind of boots the article is really talking about. so we’ll say no just on that assumption.
17. Early-morning, weekend yoga classes
    early-morning anything gets the ol’ heave-ho from me.
18. Their space
    yes please
19. Chardonnay
    it’s okaay. not my first choice. meh.
20. Nutella
    yes i’ll take nutella.
21. Breast cancer awareness
    if it’s soley susan g komen, then no.
22. Going to the bathroom as a group
    noooo gross
23. Bravo
    the channel? i don’t get it.
24. Cake
    yes!!
25. Weird, fuzzy socks
    i don’t know about weird, but i like fuzzy socks.
26. Reading celebrity magazines during Sunday football games
    i don’t read celebrity mags and i don’t have sunday football games on any tv near me.
27. Other people’s baby photos
    NO (unless they’re hannah)
28. Cheese boards
    just the board? or does the cheese come with it? if it comes with cheese, shove that down my gullet.
29. Texting
    no necessarily.
30. Ellipticals
    i was hoping this was going to be ellipsis. alas…
31. Christmas movies
    yes!
32. Homemade jam
    not a huge fan of jam
33. Risotto
    depends on the risotto! if it’s yummy, then yes!
34. Crepes
    yes!!
35. Brunch
    breakfast at 11 a.m.? i’ll take it.
36. Ryan Gosling
    no
37. Titanic
    yes!
38. Stating the obvious
    eh
39. Toms
    NO NO NO
40. Cider
    YES YES YES as long as it’s HARD cider. regular cider, no.
41. Pumpkin-flavored beer
    it’s ok. rather have pumpkin bread.
42. Kale
    no
43. Rom-coms
    they’re ok
44. Puppies
    mmm, slobbery, jumpy, stinky puppies? no. maybe from 10 feet away.
45. Wine bars
    no
46. Pictures
    sure?
47. Moscow Mules
    i have no idea what this is
48. Complaining about cold weather
    that’s me!
49. Mittens
    i wear mittens at 50º, so yes.
50. Hooking up with multiple dudes in same group of Bros
    that’s kinda weird…
51. Sweet potato fries
    mmm, these are good. especially with blue cheese dressing.
52. Reusable grocery bags
    when i remember them!
53. Dressing on the side
    no, slather that dressing all over that salad.
54. Financial stability
    what’s that? hahah
55. Obeying traffic laws
    i speed, but otherwise obey most all other laws. not sure what that makes this.
56. Human rights
    why is this even on here?
57. Throw pillows
    they’re ok.
58. The worst-case scenario
    well, things oculd always be worse, right??
59. Not being able to sleep at night
    yuck, i HATE that. who would love that?
60. Credit-card debt
    and who loves CC debt? seriously – this article is messed up.
61. Occasionally smoking pot
    what’s pot? (LOL) 
62. Mosaic tile
    not a huge fan.
63. Complaining about headaches
    no. wish they’d go away.
64. Umbrellas
    i do carry one. i wouldnt’ say i LOVE it, but who wants to get soaked during a rainstorm?
65. Diet Coke
    gross!
66. Sending other girls pictures of dresses they are thinking about buying
    maybe?
67. Cake pops
    yummy! yes!
68. Hefeweisens
    don’t know what this is.
69. Refilling the ice tray
    ugh, i hated refilling the ice tray when i had one. such an easy thing to make a huge deal out of.
70. Stemless wine glasses
    meh
71. Cleaning up during parties
    clean up BEFORE the party.
72. Prosecco
    too sweet for me!
73. Not taking public transportation
    if i had the option of public transport, i’d probably take it.
74. Being sick
    once again, who likes being sick?
75. Claiming they aren’t into sexting
    this is dumb. seriously. who wrote this drivel.
76. The idea of having a fireplace
    ok, so this is not so dumb.
77. Funfetti
    no
78. Organizing shit
    when the muse strikes, i’ll clean/organize, but mostly messes are ok.
79. Spring
    YESSSSSS sprummer!
80. Venting
    sometimes. but most times no.
81. Their birthday
    ABSOLUTELY!!
82. Group photos
    they’re ok.
83. Pic stitch apps
    i’m assuming this is a panorama app or something. can’t you just use the panorama option on your phone? this seems redundant.
84. Posting pictures to Facebook of the DC monuments that are on their jogging routes
    what? i don’t jog in DC. i took a pic of the fencepost in front of a field of purple flowers once on my run, but it sure wasn’t a monument.
85. Starting a new chapter in their life
    change is good! but sometimes the same odl same old is just fine.
86. Charity events
    they’re ok. they generally want money i don’t have though.
87. Beyonce
    meh
88. Trying new recipes
    sure!
89. Tapas
    i’ve never had tapas. anthony bourdain thinks they’re ok, so i guess i could say yes.
90. Planning to do stuff outside
    outside is AWESOME!
91. Changing out of their heels and into flip-flops at weddings
    if you had to stand around in 4″ heels at a wedding, you’d love this too, dudes.
92. Wineries
    eh
93. Kate Spade sales
    too expensive
94. Throwback Thursday
    TT is ok…
95. Koozies
    ….can koozies? then yes?
96. Seeing deer
    deer are overrated and everywhere. and when you see them bounding across the road right in front of your car, you get a whole different view of them.
97. Food blogs
    i curate one? so therefore yes?
98. Half marathons
    not yet!
99. Maxi dresses
    no
100. Peonies
     yes. 🙂