Life in the Cheese Drawer

i am starting to read natalie goldberg’s book about writing, in which she puts forth writing exercises that will jog memories for memoir writing. the first time i picked this book up, the timing just wasn’t right. but now, with my goal of writing every other day and my workshop with michael perry next month, the time is ripe!
one of the first things she says to warm up is to start with “i am looking at” and go for 10 minutes.
so, i am looking at my desk, not for want of looking anywhere else. my desk takes up a good portion of the office. it’s not a very pretty desk, nor a seemingly organized desk, but everything i need is on it. at first glance, you see the two monitors (one of which is an imac) and a large shelf full of stuff that needs more shelves. further inspection reveals quite a bit of photo-making gear, from the large format printer to the 6 packages of photo paper. but enough of the superficial stuff. what makes up a person’s desk? a person’s personal space? over the summer i had lost my desk, hauling my computer back and forth to austin/st. joe. it made me realize how much i enjoyed my desk and having that space. no place else in the house is completely mine to do with what i will. you can see the worn spots on the desk where my forearms sit as i type, the frog-shaped spot that got dug into the table-top at some point. the dirty mousepad that probably makes my mouse worse than if i weren’t using it. batteries, cords, miniatures of han solo and princess leia, a roll of nickels, a pencil jar from my 11th grade biology class, CDs of classical and movie score music, photoshop books, photos of my cat, my door, my MLP shoots, my siblings. nothing is more personal than a person’s deskspace because without personalization, how is one to get any sort of inspiration? whether you’re a graphic designer, programmer, writer, gamer, or just an internet user, what you have, or don’t have, on your desk really speaks to the way you work. you surround yourself with snippets, thoughts, pictures, hints, or whitespace even, that will help your brain to process what it needs to process to push yourself to get whatever you need to get done done. i’ll say this: after years of having a blank wall in front of me, i finally put up pictures, and it did wonders for my wellbeing while sitting at my desk. these days, there is a window directly in front of me while i sit at my desk. i am looking forward to springtime when the window plastic strips off and the blinds go up, because greenery and light will be the best inspirations a person could have.  yes, a desk is a glorious thing; it speaks of who you are, what you like, what you want to have happen, and what the rest of your world would look like if you had a chance to change it and not share with others. when i finally was able to put my desk back together after moving, it was like all was good with the world. the living room could wait. the bathroom could wait. for now, i needed to have my singular space and bask in it.

writing prompt: “Is there a moment during the day or night that is somehow mystifying, frightening or enchanting for you? When? Why?”
when the long days of summer roll around each year, and we’ve gained an hour of blessed light thanks to daylight saving time (don’t ever leave us, DST!), we start to see what i like to call indigo time.
indigo time is starting to show up at this time of year and hits its peak at the obvious summer solstice. it’s the time just after sunset but right before the dark dark of night sets in. the sun’s rays are still reaching up a bit, but not enough to make the sky any kind of yellow; it slowly fades from orange, to pink, to purple, to dark purple, to indigo…then to dark of night.
there is something about the indigo that is the perfect shade of summer blue. when you’re getting out of a car after a night out and see the indigo sky with white points of stars starting to bust out of their seams, you know that summer’s arrived and the magical nighttimes have begun.

cheesecake=success!! it probably could’ve spent another 5 minutes in the oven, but really, i wasn’t concerned. five stars – would make again.
i went to mindbump.com to get some blogging prompts. one of them that came up asked how my blogging style has changed since i first started blogging.
my first blog post was in march 2004, after i got wind that livejournal was open and invite-free. the good thing was i blogged a TON in the first couple years. the bad thing was that half of them were quizzes and “what shoe am i” and all that jazz (not to mention the mundane posts about my roommates, job, and more). but i had a lot of jems in those days. the christmas i almost caught santa, the best kinds of books, times at the fair, and my personal favorite, a bathroom review (or why i don’t mind a portapotty)*.
lately i’ve wound down on the reminisces, mainly because i am not getting inspired by my past as much; all the good times have been recorded already. so mostly my blog posts of late are far and few between (sad) and trend toward foodblog, gardenblog (needs a better name), and occasionally social commentary. not to mention mundane crap here and there.
ultimately, i’d like to say my blogging style has matured, but just as ultimately, i find myself waxing eloquent about the cats just as much. it’s like asking if your writing style has gotten better: it has, but it’s still me.
*i’m seriously thinking of reposting some of these. i know most of my readers have already read them (ok, maybe half), but perhaps i’d do some editing and they’d come out all the better?

courtesy of woo!
“Write about crappy families that dont go see their mom when shes having surgury :(“
my mom’s and my dad’s sides of their families are like two flip-sides of a coin. one is like this, and the other is the complete opposite.
when my uncle squire was dying (who is my dad’s brother), my immediate family went down to rochester to spend the last few days with him. when we arrived at the hospital and for the next two days, we did not see ANY of our cousins, only my one aunt and uncle (the other aunt has parkinson’s and seriously couldn’t have made the half-hour trip). we spent the majority of our time at the hospital, and no one showed up!
i had to go back to st cloud, but the rest of my family stayed, and on the day he died, i guess a couple of my cousins and their kids showed up, but not all of them. my uncle had no wife, no kids, so we were the only family he had. some of them couldn’t even be bothered to show up, call, or do anything? i don’t understand why, but then, i don’t underss pretty much a closed book. they don’t tell people a lot of things, they’re pretty closed-mouthed about their emotions and personal issues. while my mom’s side lets it all hang out.
all this to say, people who don’t visit loved ones who are sick, or at least send a card or flowers if they’re far away, suck!

i was stupid today and didn’t wear my winter jacket. it’s been awful all day, and i’m about to curse this state and move to arizona.
i hate being cold.
topic one (courtesy of tonto): “write about…..terrorists….. not islamic wacko’s, but, american terrorists, the people who spread terror by being scared… who’ve let 9/11 change thier lives,”
i rant about this every 9/11 anniversary, and i’m glad i’m not the only who thinks this. not only patriotic scardies, but fundie religious scardies. doomsday predictors are all over the place, myself one of them sometimes. (have you seen the stats? mayan end of time, st. malachy prediction, and a possible asteroid in earth’s path, all around the year 2012? but enough of my mayhem-causing, onward.)
but this is crazy. people who have let 9/11 change their lives and are scared to go out and overseas have already let the terrorists win. that’s what they want, people! anything that limits americans’ freedoms have basically said, “ok, we’re going to roll over and let the terrorists give it to us.” patriot act being one of them (in my opinion).
FREEDOM OF SPEECH is the main tenet of the united states. without this, our country is no better than china or iraq where they limit the communication that goes on inside the country. FREEDOM OF SPEECH is what this country is built on. and when people are afraid to look up terrorism on google or buy a copy of “Catcher in the Rye” from the bookstore for fear of being put on a government list, then this country has some issues to sort out. kudos to those people who are not afraid and do things as they did pre-attacks, without care of being on a government watch list. they are the true heroes.
“dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” – thomas jefferson