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Month: January 2014

memorable

memorable

quiet-winter-night-winter-wallpapers
it was during the last few weeks of my fall semester of my second year in college when i had my most memorable kiss.
in a scandalous turn of events, i had somehow ended up in a short relationship with a boy six years my senior with whom my roommate was infatuated; that did nothing for roommate relations at the time, but i was 19 and finally found myself in the crosshairs of a guy’s attention.
he invited me to play cards at his friends’ apartment which was in the same complex as mine, just in a different building across the courtyard. we walked over on the snow-compacted sidewalk in early december cold.
after a couple hours of cards, and after a couple of drinks, his friends said they had to call it a night, so we bundled up in our winter coats, said goodbye, and started back across the courtyard to my building.
i don’t remember if it was actually snowing or if there was just snow on the ground, but it was white on the ground and dark skies overhead, and the lampposts’ light pooled in small, glowing circles that lighted the path back.
we were both a little tipsy, slipping and sliding across the sidewalk, and, laughing in the punctuated dark, he leaned down from his 6’3″ frame and kissed me. it was warm, wet, and boozy, and the cold fled.

info dump

info dump

1. sherlock was awesome! i don’t want to say much without spoilers, but there were some funny moments and i’m excited for next week!
i hate the fact that i can get all basic channels excpet NBC through my antenna. i think i’m going to get the largest indoor antenna i can find and see if it works. i want to get the olympics in HD!
3. tomorrow’s back to work. i could get used to this 3-day weekend thing though.
4. i dressed up my christmas tree star before putting my stuff away for the season. the first year i got a tree, i had some branches and made a star from them. it just looks a little boring, so i made it sparkly!
IMG_9713

sizeism? weightism?

sizeism? weightism?

oh, peter.
oh, peter.

i got a phone call from megan this morning after i’d entered my morning weight in myfitnesspal.
“you lost 67 pounds???! that’s a tiny asian person!”
too true. then she posited the question, which had come up before, if i noticed anything different in how people treated me. i really don’t. maybe i was oblivious to it, but i’ve had more than one person tell me that i didn’t seem “fat”, so -to-speak, when i weighed my highest – just bigger.
but, the one thing that does give me pause is my two job searches. after getting laid off from poopwest supply in ’06 and all through my graduate assistantship, i was looking for jobs. my resume was stellar – i got 20+ interviews out of it – but the only permanent job was at merrill as a prepress tech, a sort of fall-back position that i took to keep my fingers in the adobe programs (and for money to keep me off the streets!).
i had interviews at banks, casinos, universities, departments of tourism – really awesome places, now that i think about it. but no one wanted me, which i attributed at the time to my reservedness, shyness, and sub-par creative abilities (i was actually told i should probably not apply to true creative designer positions after seeking feedback from an interviewer).
enter job search #2, after merrill decided to shove my hours back to 3-11. at this point, i’d lost almost 50 pounds and was wearing a size 16/18 as opposed to a size 20/22. i sent out a few resumes – not a lot – and got one phone interview for a release writing position at mayo (which i’m not surprised i didn’t get because my experience doesn’t contain a ton of writing) and one phone interview at RCTC. surprise! job landed after one face-to-face interview.
is it just coincidence? i know people can be judgey toward overweight people. heck, even i am now (more in a “HEY i can do it; you can TOO” kind of way). i’m sure it’s more of a subconscious thing, sort of like racism and genderism (?), where your stereotypes and expectations flood your good reasoning.
another thing i’ve considered, even though i don’t personally think it made a difference, but i could be clouding my own perception, is perhaps my self-esteem rose because of the weight loss and resulted in my being a little less reserved in my interview. it’s hard to know.
what do you think? is weightism/sizeism a legit thing like racism or genderism?
i want to say i’ve written about this before, but i can’t remember. so if i did, you can ignore this post!

long weekend!

long weekend!

i feel like i haven’t worked at all lately! i had christmas, then new year’s, then a cold day, and now MLK day next week. next month i get president’s day. then a couple months and it’s memorial day!
all the holidays? INGENIOUS! this is something i definitely will take over the private work sector. screw you, only 7 paid holidays a year!
2013-Postal-Holidays

bleah treadmills suck

bleah treadmills suck

cat-treadmill
running on a treadmill is really no fun.
when i first got the treadmill, i huffed and puffed on that thing and felt like i was getting nowhere (well, really i wasn’t anyway, but you know what i mean). i got the display working temporarily so i could actually see what the distances were, and i was barely breaking a 15-minute mile. what was wrong with me??
i got down on the ground, and it turns out the treadmill was at a constant incline. nopenopenope. evened that sucker out and got to my somewhat normal times. but still, trying to maintain your balance, running in place, and not tripping or tipping over is so annoying.
since i bought mine off craigslist, of course there are little weird things about it. the most dangerous is that the key is missing, so if you do something that would normally pull the plug on the machine, it actually keeps going. i’ve only almost biffed it once while i was trying to look at my time on my phone in my armband. that would’ve been a disaster on the concrete. (perhaps it’s the craigslist killer’s way of killing by natural selection…)
treadmilling on even tread is ok, but it still isn’t quite the same as running on flat, unmoving ground. or even unflat unmoving ground. i think you actually exert more energy just trying to stay between the handrails.
that said, WALKING on a treadmill is actually ok. maybe it’s because i never technically leave the ground for a split second like i do when running. maybe it’s because more of my foot is in contact with the ground and i don’t feel like i’m going to wobble my way over the side. i could walk for 5 hours on a treadmill and be ok.
so let’s just say that the current trend of daylight inching later and later into the day is a good one. the sooner i can get out on the pavement and trails the better.

push

push

most nights i sit at my blank screen, fingers poised, waiting for inspiration to strike. most nights it doesn’t, and i end up writing something blasé or trivial. (which some of you may prefer, actually.)
most nights i wish i could just write and write and write what weighs me down, and then i don’t because this is a public forum, and i’m not going to unload my personal issues for the world to see and judge. besides, my problems are pretty lame compared to others’.
most nights i wish i could focus on the now.
 

interesting question

interesting question

megan posed an interesting question on facebook today: if you have a choice of no kids or 6 kids, no in between, with unlimited resources, which would you choose?
54 months (4.5 years) pregnant.
if you have each kid two years apart, that’s at least 12 years of children under 2 years old.
if you have them bam bam bam right after one another, that’s at least 7 years of kids under 2. (unless you’re lucky and have some multiples in there.)
at the same time, given unlimited resources, you could hire a nanny to raise them for you and not have to deal with them at all unless you want to. but what’s the point of having them if you’re going to let someone else raise them?
i guess i’d rather have none and sleep. and use those unlimited resources to travel!
i think it would be more telling to have people choose between 1 or 2 and 10.