the parent argument

i’ve given some thought to the argument of how gay marriage affects the raising of children. i know i’ve said in a couple past posts that if people are so concerned about the degradation of the family, we should also focus on single parents, divorcees, etc. etc. before homing in on gay parents.

so what is the ideal parent situation? is it a mother and father, male and female? there are some cultures where children are raised communally and don’t actually have a specific mother and father in a sense. in “man-is-breadwinner” families, do children really know their father that well? are workaholic fathers and/or mothers who don’t help much with child rearing better than none? good grief, thousands of years ago, no one even knew who the father was! is it specifically different gendered parents who shape a person?

or is it having two (or more in the case of communal cultures) adults raising a child who have a healthy, loving relationship that the child can witness? is it the gender, or the relationship?