Life in the Cheese Drawer

i’ve been spending more-than-usual time with a certain aunt* of mine, who is very vocal about her opinions  on religion and politics. which would be ok if they aligned with my views, but since a person can’t contradict her without her praying for your immortal soul and talking about you behind your back, i sit down, nod and smile. and listen.
these are some of the more, um, colorful discussions, so far at least.
aunt, on john mccain: well, he turned out to be a jerk. too bad palin didn’t have a better running mate.
me, internally: WAT
aunt, after discussing the low-lifes who attend the fair: tsk tsk, these are the type of people who vote for obama
aunt: [daughter-in law’s] brother is getting married this saturday.
me: oh, that’s nice!
aunt: he’s getting married on a lake! not in the church! can you believe that?!
me: *looks artificially concerned*
aunt: even [son who is married to aforementioned DIL] said, don’t people know what being baptized means these days??
me: *mouth drop*
aunt: wow this mess in the middle east has gone on long enough. you know, when obama took office he said the troops would be out right away!
me: well, some of them are out…and osama bin laden is gone!
aunt: yeah, poor guy. hiding in a hole and all that’s left is a finger!
me: *facepalm*
 
*aunt shall remain anonymized