Life in the Cheese Drawer

i have really neglected my poor little blog this past year, and especially the past few weeks. after last year, when i blogged every day, this seems like a huge departure, and i’m not quite sure why i haven’t kept up with it. 
but today jane i went to nerdcon:stories, and we attended a couple sessions specifically about writing, which made me super excited about nanowrimo, for one. and also about kablpomo! november is close approaching! so, any ideas for either would be welcome.
more on nerdconlater! (i hope!)

i believe in the sun. i believe in the stars, the moon, the constellations, the dark indigo of twilight. i believe in fireflies. i believe in grass beneath my feet. i believe in sprummer days of excited greens and happy bugs. i believe in trees – small, tall, old, ancient, spruce, oak, maple, plum. i believe in growing things. i believe in a good night’s sleep. i believe in the inherent good in people and their subconscious willingness to do the right thing. i also believe in a healthy dose of skepticism. i believe in questions. i believe in answers. i believe in purring kitty cats who try to get up your nose. i believe in trying my best to live in the now, even though the past and future crowd in. i believe in family and friends. i believe in laughing a lot. i believe in tradition. i believe in trying new things. i believe in an even keel. i believe in rocking the boat. i believe in riding in fast boats on summer lakes. i believe in art. i believe in reading immersion. i believe in earl grey tea.  i believe in the smell of autumn leaves and burning brush. i believe in enveloping yourself in a forest of yellow aspen. i believe in keeping an open mind. i believe in making an effort. i believe in living this life the fullest because it’s what i’ve got right now. 
but after all this? i do believe i have been a disappointment.

my blogging has really been waning lately, so i’m trying to make a point of blogging daily again for a bit. maybe it’ll work; maybe it won’t. but i kind of miss blogging every day – making a deliberate choice to sit down in front of a keyboard and putting thoughts to screen.
i also have been feeling like a slob lately when it comes to writing, so another reason. with my devil’s syrup book pretty much done (for now, until i get some input from ANYONE who’s willing to read it – i’ll take anyone), it seems writing’s taken a back burner. i’ve been making my way through my reading stack pretty well, but that’s not quite the same.
so back to the blogging board. i really want to take my laptop to SD and blog every day, but i’m not sure that’ll happen for sure. (the blogging part; not the taking the laptop part.)
so, expect to see more regular updates. and if you don’t see them, send me a note and tell me to get my but in gear.
(i was going to correct that but to butt, then realized that the one-T but was more than appropriate as well, so it stays.)
(seriously, download and read my devil’s syrup novella memoir. i want feedback and input on what else i can add in there so it’s NOT novella length!)

the hopeful part of me gets wildly optimistic when we get the first few nice days of weather in the year. what is it about sudden 60º weather that grabs minnesotans’ attention and drags it to the outdoors? the small, green buds? the sun’s, which has been subdued and southerly for six months or so, trip north and lengthy day stays? the warmth? the combination of events excites every single person. maybe talking about the weather is a cop-out conversation piece, but here? it’s the number one thing on our minds, especially during seasons’ changes.
but to understand this, you have to understand upper midwest winters. 
around september and october, we start to notice the sun’s early setting times. the weather gets a little chilly. this is fine, especially if, like me, you enjoy autumn. 
then it gets cold. and the leaves are off the trees. the ground turns brown. then the snow comes, and while it’s pretty, it does make everything pretty stark looking: white snow with black tree limbs dotting the countryside. the wind blows. snow swirls. it gets so cold that it’s hard to breathe. your nostrils glue shut because it’s so cold.
there are some plusses: you get to ski and ice skate and sled. christmas is pretty nice. sometimes when the snow is falling, it’s so silent you can hear it. 
but after a while, it just gets oppressive. february is so dark and cold, and the sun barely peeks through the entire month. it’s been so cold for so long, it seems like winter is never going to end. was there ever a time when i wore short sleeves outside? who knows?
so when it starts to peek above 30º, we northerners get a little anticipatory. above 40º? looking good, but we don’t want to get our hopes up. 60º in march? we’re downright giddy. then april comes, and trees start to bud out, and there are days above 70º, and the air starts to smell like dirt, and if you’re like me, the smell of mud and manure brings thoughts of spring, and the ground starts to get squishy, and birds flock back, and oh my goodness the frogs are croaking like CRAZY, …. and april, being april, sinks us back to freezing for a couple days just to let us know who’s boss.
may, on the other hand…

i listed my tree photo on etsy. i wrote this for the description:
In Southeastern Minnesota, the fields go on forever, like looking at a sea of waving green. The cornfields hedge you in on your drives on country roads, while the soybeans take a more forgiving approach with their crouching stance in the field dirt. 

When fall comes, the corn leaves turn brittle and combines roam the fields in straight lines, sucking up what it needs. The soybeans turn from green, to yellow-green, to brown, the bean pods slowly losing their moisture as the air turns crisp and the nights swallow the daylight. ‘Tis the loaming.