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so comes the snow

so comes the snow

biggie rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them. no matter what, every year he woke up around the same time: after the harvest but before the solstice. a voice spoke to him in his dreams, telling him it was time to wake, but when he woke, he never remembered who it was or what exactly it said. all he knew was that he was ravenous.

he stretched his long arms overhead and stretched. 6 months of hibernating in this cave had done nothing for the joints; even though he was relatively young, he was still thousands of years old, and no activity doesn’t do anything for anyone. biggie rooted through his small pile of dried fruits and nuts that he’d set in the corner for this very moment, and scarfed down every last bit of food he found. time to find water.

he squinted as he made his way out of the cave. it was bright, even though the sun was low in the sky and shrouded by cloud cover and the thick pines of the land he lived in. he looked around at the familiar surroundings, taking in the bare branches, the browning grass, and rattling leaves on shrubs and small, scrubby trees that framed the entrance to his home. the grey clouds were heavy in the sky, as they always were when he made his first appearance after his long sleep.

biggie stared down at himself and shook out his arms, then ran his fingers through his shaggy white fur, cleaning himself of the detritus he’d picked up while rolling around in his sleep. after five minutes of grooming, he was ready to get to the water and set out on his journey.

stretching out his legs felt good, and his thick-soled feet were impervious to the little stones and sticks that were underfoot on his way. as he walked, small creatures sniffed the air, examining the frost he left behind in his footprints, then hopping away (most likely to store up some more food – and quickly).

it was a quick jaunt to the river, and biggie knelt down and dipped his head to the water, slurping what he knew was a reasonable amount before his stomach would revolt. then he leaned back and surveyed the area. the wind blew in from the north, just enough to bring a chill, and there was moisture in the air. several birds were lined up on skinny branches, ruffling their feathers and watching him with their bright eyes. rodents of all sizes started gathering around, peering from behind tree trunks and sitting up on rocks. despite the rumors, biggie was very gentle and attracted creatures of all sorts. that’s why he tended to stay away from humans; they wouldn’t want to let him go.

he grumbled, clearing his throat a bit before speaking after a six-month rest on his vocal cords.

“it’s about that time, isn’t it?” he addressed all the creatures, and then they burst out in chitters and squeaks and grumblings of their own. biggie nodded.

he placed his palm on the river, and it turned to ice, cracking as it adjusted to the flow of the water. then as his palms turned upward, the sky let loose a cloud of white flakes. he had 6 months, then the voice would call to him again: time to sleep.

but not yet. he stood and started walking through the new snow, tiny creatures following in his wake.

caturday 2

caturday 2

poor stan has a complex. he’s been licking his arms and a spot on his shoulder so much that he’s starting to go bald. i just plugged in some cat calming pheromone stuff, so hopefully he stops with the obsessive licking and his hair grows back.

foodie friday: GBBO edition

foodie friday: GBBO edition

oh yes, the time has come to review what i’ve made after drooling over the great british bake off.

ok, well, after doing a bit of research, it turns out i’ve only made ONE recipe so far, but in my head i’d counted an additional one because i got a paul hollywood handshake from jane.

SO. first, i made the apricot couronne, which is really tasty.

(photo not mine)

i made this over easter or something a year or so ago, and it was actually pretty easy to make (when you know what you’re doing). while i’m not a huge fan of working with yeast (it never seems to cooperate), the apricot filling in this along with the almonds and icing on top really made it worth worrying about yeast.

the second recipe i was thinking of was actually recommended by lynn from the splendid table: the squash galette. man, it’s delicious!

the crust is flaky and made with whole wheat flour. the filling has squash, sour cream, cheese, spinach, and while the recipe is for vegetarians, i like to add bacon for a little bit of bacon-y goodness. i’ve already made one this fall and i definitely plan to make at least one more. hmmm… maybe i’ll make another tomorrow!

all this to say, sunday i will be making the MILLIONAIRE SHORTBREAD. this was made during caramel week on  GBBO, and i could NOT believe that i had never had it or made it. it looks absolutely delicious: shortbread crust, caramel, and then a layer of chocolate. of course they have to be perfect on GBBO, but i don’t even care if they’re a mess because i will EAT THEM WITH A SPOON. i am so excited to make these and even more excited to eat them on monday after my stupid dietbet is over!

(this pic not mine either)

i’m going to use some almond flour in the crust, and i’m trying to figure out a good way to add some peanut butter. we’ll see what happens.

as an aside, i’m also making chicken wild rice hotdish this weekend, so if anyone wants to visit me, i am open to that 🙂

TBT: se minn style

TBT: se minn style

on my calendar for today, i have “remember when i lived in rochester LOL”

haha i think that’s appropriate! as much as i rag on rochester as a whole, i’m glad i made that move.

it was a lot of work. between having to sell a house, buy a house, sell a house, buy a house and one rental, the housing situation wasn’t great. plus there were 6 months of commuting from st. cloud to austin on the weekends and then austin to roch every workday at the beginning, then from st. charles up to st. cloud for four months on the way back. the thing i had to keep telling myself was that this was temporary and it would be done eventually, and at the end it would be worth it.

now southeastern minnesota is a perfectly lovely place. it’s got great bluff country, and the rivers are great. winona is a fantastic little college town. rochester, despite its weird hoity toity worker vs. mayo class system, is a nice looking town (much prettier than metro st. cloud looks).

some things i liked about rochester: it had a trader joe’s. and a costco (altho we are CLOSE here in st. cloud. the building is being erected). sushi tokyo is delicious. i like that it’s in a valley, and there’s a lot of historical buildings. i like JENEE and she’s in rochester. i liked my job! it was a great school.

some things like liked about living in st. charles: i like that lanesboro was close. i liked that i could go to winona instead of rochester to get my groceries and do my shopping. i liked that right past lewiston, you drove into the bluffs down to the river. i liked that whitewater was 9 miles from my house. the running situation was pretty darn good! the good sport was yummy, and i ate way too much a&w. i peaked at kitchen owning. i will never get better than that kitchen at my house in st charles. oh, and that deck we built was pretty darn good!

but dang it i do like lakes and trees and the hills of central mn. i think it’s the way the trees crowd in the more north part of minnesota. i like driving 5 miles to st. john’s and getting on the water. i really like running in the woods. i like the yellow of autumn (well except this fall. good grief. what a bad fall we had). i like not having to drive 15 miles to get from target to a walmart to a barnes and noble (st cloud’s retail is pretty centralized; rochester’s is not).

i guess yeah, i lived in rochester for four years. i kind of wonder about it – a weird blip. but if i hadn’t taken that job, i wouldn’t be where i am today, and i wouldn’t have met jenee. and i’m pretty happy about that.

word wednesday

word wednesday

so i just learned this the other day whilst browsing reddit.

the word bear actually is derived from old english bera, meaning the brown one – this is common throughout norse, dutch, german, etc. it’s derived from greek and latin, which have the root for bear, but why do these languages call a bear just by its color?

well, olde timey hunters in the northern parts pretty much replaced the names of wild animals because of a taboo on names of wild animals. other names for bear were the good calf, honey pic, the licker, honey eater. there are also variations of calling it the wild.

bears were so stinking scary to hunters that they couldn’t even call it by its name.

i did some very brief research on native american words for bears and tried to look up some etymology on those. the closest thing i could find that was sort of similar was the ojibwe word mukwa for bear, which actually means great. so sort of the same thing – replacing it with a descriptor. although, isn’t that a lot of words we have, especially onomatopoeia words?

roar
review tuesday: these elections -_-

review tuesday: these elections -_-

when i wrote up my schedule for kablpomo, i forgot that election day was in there. so instead of a review for the three books i’ve recently read or the movie “get out”, you get a review of my election day 🙂

when i left home this morning to go vote, it was flurrying – yay the first flurries of the season. that was not an enthusiastic yay, in case you missed it. i’m not particularly happy about losing daylight saving time either!

weather aside, i drove the avon township hall, which is about 3 miles from my house out in the boonies. i like driving out to the boonies to vote alongside my fellow ruralites (even though we may hold different political views). the town hall is a bright red building among the avon hills, and there is a BIGFOOT silhouette just hanging out in the parking lot.

the line was pretty much non-existent at 7:45! i walked in with a couple and went through the checkin process. they had ipads this year to look up names, which i had known since i’d voted in the primaries. then it took me maybe 5 minutes to fill out my ballot and TADA i got the sticker!

consider my civic right fulfilled.

i’d like to point out that i did try to get nate to vote but after the third time i asked him, he got really annoyed, so i stopped.

so, fellow citizens of this country who choose not to vote, why do you not vote? after all that susan b. anthony and our forefathers went through to secure a democracy/republic that allows all to vote, what about it makes you not want to partake? registering and requesting a mail-in ballot isn’t difficult; you can do it all online these days. you don’t even need to find a stamp since the return envelope is pre-paid. what could be easier? do you want the ballot to show up in your mailbox unannounced so you can just fill it out? (would compulsory voting work?) do you not want to do the research on your candidates? i mean, there are easy questionnaires you can fill out online that will tell you who to vote for after asking 10 questions. what is it?

hmmmmeme?

hmmmmeme?

i have meme mondays slated for this month unless you readers have a different topic you’d like me to talk about on mondays. i’d be open to that!

before i delve into memes for today, i’d like to take a moment for a shoutout to whirlpool. i had a tine break off my stove grates and i tweeted it:

i got a direct message from them asking for my address and phone. they called and left a message, to which i tried calling back 3 times! their business hours are totally wonky. but i finally left a message and said i tried calling during normal business hours but it says you’re closed and i don’t know what to do. i got a message today:

“…we’re going to look for a grate in your area to send it to your address at no charge…”

😮

i checked OEM replacements for these, and they run $200+

😮  😮

 

******************

onward to meme monday!

meme is a virally-transmitted cultural symbol or social idea.

back in the day, memes were lists of questions that you filled out on your blog. or it was a quiz you took on a website and then copied/pasted the code into your blog. i used to do a lot of them on my blog! in fact, i bet if you searched the early archives, you’d find quite a bit.

these days, our attention spans are shorter so we have to write two sentences on a picture.

the hedgewitch

the hedgewitch

all the fields and gardens had been harvested, the food stored in root cellars or preserved so that they would survive the winter. earlier that week, the people had brought the livestock in from the high summer pastures, herding the animals as they ambled down from the hills and into the fenced off land closer to their homes. that morning, groups of men all over the countryside had  corralled some of the livestock and slaughtered them for the lean months ahead.

the hedgewitch sat cross-legged on the dirt floor in her sparse cabin where she spent the spring, summer, and autumn months. after tonight, she would head north.

second only to solstice, tonight was imperative in keeping the seasons aligned. and unlike solstice, where she was sure someone could do her job, tonight she was the intermediary and the only intermediary.

the sun was almost below the horizon, the days growing shorter more quickly. it was halfway between the equinox and solstice, and tonight was her big night.

after another five minutes of meditating, she opened her eyes just as someone knocked at the door.

“mariah, we’re ready!”

mariah took stock of her surroundings – shelves loaded with hearty fruits and vegetables, braided onions and garlic hanging from the beams. while she was gone, the people in her village used her cabin as a storeroom. her eyes settled on her workbench, and she rolled forward to come to her feet and open the door. her neighbor’s daughter stood there, and she bounded inside to watch while mariah grabbed what she needed: the silver knife into her boot for sure; peppermints in a pocket, absolutely. then she grabbed a few apples and nuts, sage. matches. she smiled at the girl who watched. “let’s go.”

the bonfires were already lit, and she saw several of her villagers already had put on masks and different clothes, some as their dead loved ones, some as the real monsters that tonight might bring. their guises did nothing to help anything, but mariah never said anything because she enjoyed watching them. tables had been brought out around the fire, loaded with beloved family heirlooms, special meals, and assortments of just-harvested crops and livestock.

tonight, at the halfway point, the hedge lowered  between the living and otherworld. people all over the country were ready to greet their loved ones who’d passed on, bribing them here with their favorite foods and items.

mariah, on the other hand, was ready to greet the other creatures that skulked along the hedge. no one else could see these creatures except the hedgewitch, but the she knew that if they weren’t held back, the yearly harvests and livestock could be wiped out. it had been many centuries since that had happened, unlike the year she didn’t make the winter solstice. losing the yearly foodstores was many times worse.

she strolled the perimeter, scanning the edges of the woods, the pastures, for any signs of the werewolves or firebreathers. one year she had had to hold off fomarians before they brought chaos to the living world. like every year, torches were lit to light the path for loved ones and keep the evil at bay. gourds had been emptied and carved with candles lit inside in hopes to ward off the creatures; just like the costumes did nothing, mariah let this one slide as well because she liked seeing what new carvings people came up with.

she also knew that this night the Other could travel easily, as well as the vampires. just thinking about the Other had mariah digging in her pocket for a peppermint; she popped it in her mouth. she rarely saw a vampire in these parts, but after her last encounter with the Other, she wasn’t taking any chances.

she lit some sage and let it smolder as she walked, setting the stage. she hoped that some families would see their loved ones, but she never expected any to. it was a rare occurrence.

at midnight, the hedge would thin. time slipped quickly, and suddenly it was time. her villagers still danced around the bonfires and chatted with each other across the bounty piled on the tables. but mariah found a quiet corner near a bonfire and sat on the ground, still holding her smoking sage. she pulled out the apples and nuts from her pocket and tossed them on the ground in front of her, along  with a peppermint for good measure. she took a deep breath, stared into the fire, and closed her eyes so she could look for the hedge.

at first it was hazy, like always, but soon the sky cleared and the stars were bright points in the sky. even though there was no moon, the land in front of her was lit up like it was a full moon, and she easily saw the hedge, where darkness smoothed into black and nothingness. she heard rustling and the creatures’ noises and howls from afar, but she knew that a lot of it was just grandstanding. generally, just her presence at the hedge on the otherplain kept everyone on their own side.

she was about halfway through the night when something at one end of the hedge caught her eye, and she slowly made her way over to the white mist that was spreading onto the living side. before she could do anything, she had to know what she was working with. werewolves responded to something entirely differently than firebreathers, and they both were a lot less work than the fomarians. but she’d never seen anything ooze between the hedge in a mist before.

as she got closer, the mist started to take shape and suddenly there was a very large skeleton of a horse in front of her, steam coming out of its mouth, frothing and stomping and generally making a fuss. then it paused and started wailing at mariah. mariah wracked her brain for what this could be. was it some sort of banshee? there was no way it could be a firebreather, and it was definitely a horse, not a wolf. it was too transparent to be a fomarian.

the horse started wailing and keening, taking slow steps away from the hedge, closer to the living world. mariah knew that if it got past her, it would wend its way to the living and wreak as much havoc as possible. once one got out, the others grew a little bolder.

her knife wouldn’t work on the horse, so that was out. she patted her pockets. her sage was in there, so she pulled it out and wafted it in the direction of the horse. the horse kept wailing. mariah spit her peppermint out at it, hoping it may be of the same stuff as the Other, but no suck luck.

as she dug in her pockets, she stopped suddenly and listened to the noise the horse was making. she noticed a rhythm, a lilt. it dawned on her: the horse was keening one of the songs the elves sang. mariah frowned and looked at the horse. it was an odd place for mari lwyd to be, but not entirely impossible…

mariah folded her hands in front of her and stared at mari, or one of mari’s projections. after a few seconds, she heard where the song was headed, and she joined in, humming where she didn’t know the words (the elves tended to load the song with elf profanities, so mariah really didn’t know a lot of the words). as she picked out the words, mari lwyd slowed down, and the two sang a strange duet at the edge of the hedge, heading back to the otherworld. slowly, mariah led mari to the hedge, and mari lwyd bent a knee, almost bowing, and dissipated into the darkness, and wisps of ghost slowly sucked back to the other side.

the rest of the night was calm.

mariah nodded to consciousness at dawn, her eyes blurry at first but then focusing on the embers of the bonfire. someone had put a large blanket over her in the night, and as mariah moved it aside to sit up, snow fell off and to the ground in front of her. people were huddled under furs and blankets around the remains of the fires, waiting out the night. others were standing at the tables, eating the food that they had set out the night before. the sky was a dark grey, and light snow fell to the ground, sticking here and there where it could. mariah squinted at the sky. winter was coming.

it was time for the hedgewitch to head north.

 

other odd holiday stories

non-foodie friday

non-foodie friday

although fridays are dedicated to foodies ideals, this friday i am talking to you about my dietbet. yes, during foodie fridays, i’m not eating much food.

dietbet is an app and there are a ton of games to choose from, either a kickstarter where you lose 2% over a month or a transformer, 10% over 6 months. you bet money against yourself to lose the weight along with a lot of other people, and after final weighin, the pot is split among the winners. this month’s game is the second kickstarter i’ve done. i gave myself a month between them so i can eat like i want to for a little bit. also, ragnar was in there. i wasn’t dieting during that!

anyway, losing 2% of your weight in a month is a really aggressive weight loss regimen. myfitnesspal wants me to eat 1200 calories a day with a sedentary lifestyle (during the winter i’m sedentary. summertime i’m lightly active). then i log my running. yoga is a freebie unless it’s an hour of HIIT yoga, then i log that.

but keeping myself to 1200 calories is difficult! i try to eat oatmeal for breakfast because that is filling. then i have a protein bar for lunch (ok, a couple days i’ve had curly fries from the cafeteria, not gonna lie). by the time i come home, i’m pretty hangry and eat usually chicken and a crap ton of vegetables, sometimes rice. my kitchen scale is the most valuable thing i have in my kitchen right now. if i run, i will eat some sort of carbalicious thing, like yogurt or a cookie or a bagel with cream cheese or a piece of toast slathered in raspberry jam. but then i’m done eating for the night. if i get hungry, i’ll drink water. if it doesn’t go away, i’ll have either some popcorn or flavored rice cakes (which are actually not too horrible). i log everything in myfitness pal and hope i get enough protein and iron during the day.

so far, the limitations in eating haven’t really affected my running, especially since i’m not running hugely long distances due to ragnar being over. but i’ve also started treadmill running, which is really depressing and i’m not looking forward to at least 4 more months of it. i think the biggest accomplishment with this dietbet so far is that i’ve dipped into onederland and maintained it for more than a week now, so that’s something i haven’t seen since probably 1999. i’m also officially in the “overweight” bmi range. high five to self on no longer being obese! it’s also time to do another progress pic. i’ve lost 70 lbs since my highest weight!

i haven’t decided if i’ll do another dietbet. if i do, i’ll wait until january so i can get the holidays in without feeling guilty (and losing). i also have a feeling that the dietbets will be flooded with new years resolutioners, so maybe i’ll make some cash.

the first dietbet i made $12, so i have high hopes for this one, which ends on nov. 12. the day after i do my final weigh in will be a happy day with many tacos.

ugh, that looks so good