and like that, we have started on the downhill side of the longer days of the year. we’re in the week where the days are almost evenly long, even so much weirder in that the sun slightly shifts so that sunrise is a couple minutes later and sunset is also a couple minutes later, so it seems that the days continue to lengthen, when in fact they really are staying the same.

it’s weird how time is moving during the pandemic. it seems to equally move slowly and quickly, as we wait for normalization, as much as that is possible. things on hold cause us to view the time moving slowly, yet our routines are so different now and not so routine that time moves more quickly that we’d expect. or want.

routine lulls us into a sense of having more time than we actually do.

not right now seems to be a common phrase. the thing is, if we keep putting it off – continuing to say not this summer, or not right now, or not yet, then soon there is no more summer, no more right now , or no more yet to be. all the years of me putting off traveling or doing things because of money or time is something i regret; and so i want to travel as much as i can while i can. the pandemic is really a pain in that respect.

when articles started circulating that young people were taking advantage of cheap plane tickets at the beginning of the pandemic, i was jealous. i knew i wouldn’t go; i did want to go. one of my young(er) friends mentioned “we’re here for a good time, not a long time.” i like that.

last night i stepped to the edge of my property where the field behind me begins, just as the sun was setting. the field was blinking with fireflies and the sun’s glow on the horizon gave it a pinkish layer, followed by purple and into indigo blue – the gloaming. the gloaming stretches this time of year, extending sunset from shortly after 9 p.m. into well after 10 p.m. before the sun completely surrenders to the earth’s rotation.

all the emotions of the past few months are starting to subside. i don’t want to get complacent and move into an attitude of not caring about current events and injustices and public health, but i also don’t like being angry and anxious all the time. it’s not healthy, and ultimately, it’s not useful. especially when in the scheme of things, we’re a speck on a speck on a speck of dust in this universe.

the best part of the gloaming is seeing the stars start to peek out in the dark blue on one side of the sky with the indigo purple on the other side, our one star subsiding to the others in the soupy star-filled out yonder. look up long enough and there’s a sense of vertigo, of how small we really are, how our time here is short. stardust to stardust – let’s make it a good time while we’re here.