Life in the Cheese Drawer

this morning i stepped on the scale and saw a number i haven’t seen since 1999. 20 years ago!! i also just bought two pairs of pants that are size 12. i have only worn a size 12 once in my life, when i was 13 years old. (granted, 1993 size 12 was probably like today’s size 16, but i’ll take it.)

(i’ve done a few dietbets in the past 6 months or so, and now i’m down a total of 80 lbs. i’ve lost about 20 over the past 4 months.)(and made about $30 from the dietbets.)

so yeah, there are the pros to losing some junk in my trunk (and running as part of it):

1. it’s easier to find clothes that look nice
2. clothes fit better
3. i fit into chairs better (not great yet, but better)
4. when i cross my legs, my leg isn’t sticking way out in the middle of the room
5. my leg muscles are pretty intense these days
6. my cholesterol levels are super awesome
7. my triglycerides levels are also pretty awesome

but it isn’t all butterflies and sunshine and kittens and unicorns. there are downsides to being overweight and then losing it. and i guess some of these apply to people who haven’t been overweight ever, too.

1. the flabby skin is getting out of control. something about subcutaneous fat or some such. i need to google it and how to deal with it. i know part of it is age, too, which sucks because i can’t do anything about that. obviously the skin was more taut when there was more fat underneath it, but now it’s just hanging out. literally, in some cases.
2. fat was a good face filler. my smile parentheses wrinkles were non-existent, but when i lost weight, they appeared. this is apparently a common thing among people who’ve lost a lot of weight.
3. i’m a side sleeper most of the time, and when i snuggle up and put my legs together, my knee bones rub against each other. no fat there to keep the bones from knocking together.
4. same on the butt bones when sitting on hard surfaces at a certain angle.
5. i am COLD(er). COLD ALL THE TIME.
6. i read a great quote in a book today about running and weight. the gist of it: if you were fat as a kid, as an adult you are either fat or scared of being fat. i remember the first time i had to take extended time off running (2 weeks for an injury). i was terrified i was going to gain back all the weight i’d lost – 40 lbs in 2 weeks, which would never happen. the struggle over weight anxiety is real, folks!