i believe in the sun. i believe in the stars, the moon, the constellations, the dark indigo of twilight. i believe in fireflies. i believe in grass beneath my feet. i believe in sprummer days of excited greens and happy bugs. i believe in trees – small, tall, old, ancient, spruce, oak, maple, plum. i believe in growing things. i believe in a good night’s sleep. i believe in the inherent good in people and their subconscious willingness to do the right thing. i also believe in a healthy dose of skepticism. i believe in questions. i believe in answers. i believe in purring kitty cats who try to get up your nose. i believe in trying my best to live in the now, even though the past and future crowd in. i believe in family and friends. i believe in laughing a lot. i believe in tradition. i believe in trying new things. i believe in an even keel. i believe in rocking the boat. i believe in riding in fast boats on summer lakes. i believe in art. i believe in reading immersion. i believe in earl grey tea.  i believe in the smell of autumn leaves and burning brush. i believe in enveloping yourself in a forest of yellow aspen. i believe in keeping an open mind. i believe in making an effort. i believe in living this life the fullest because it’s what i’ve got right now. 
but after all this? i do believe i have been a disappointment.