TMI Tuesday: 90s edition (read at your own risk)

the tmi to inevitably come is not my own tmi. it is a witnessed tmi. so you have that to look forward to.

i think the first time i went to the gay 90s i was 20 years old. i was hovering between 19 and 20 and finally landed on 20 due to hazy memories that procure i was not living with angie at the time, which means it was either summertime or it was junior year in college. plus i was wearing a ’99 pinestock shirt. 20.

and even though i’d only been to the 90s once with angie, i will always associate it with her and branden. definitely branden.

the previous year, angie and i had taken to going to first street station (now rumrunners) on 18+ nights (thursdays?) because we were cool like that. a couple times branden drove up from hutch to join us. afterward we would go to the killer perkins and then go home. so when branden called and told me about the 90s in the cities, i was intrigued.

90s had 18+ on sunday nights, which was also their drag show night. being a sheltered central minnesotan, i was pretty pumped to see a drag show. so started a sunday night trend.

alas, angie didn’t join us again, but other people did. lisa, branden’s friend from pelican, megan, kerin, the gays, ben, liz (who subsequently got us kicked out and temporarily banned), random friends of lisa, and branden, always branden (TIL HE MOVED AWAY!! CURSE YOU TONTO!).

we went during the summer, fall, winter, spring. there was a parking lot 2 or 3 blocks away that served us well, but in wintertime it was an awful trip to the front door in your clubbing clothes (which, in those days, consisted of shiny pants and a tank top – at least i didn’t have cold legs). you waited in line and handed the bouncer your $5 to get in.

the point of going to the 90s, besides looking at the drag show (roxy marquis!!) and bopping up and down in the rave/electronic music dance room, was to people watch. a lot of straight people went to the 90s and it was always fun to see what interactions happened. then afterward, an inevitable trip to sex world, the porn store to end all porn stores.

there was the time i lost my keys (thank god someone actually found them on the floor and handed them to me as i was yelling at the bouncer who was attending the leaving crowds). there was the time branden went in/out the wrong door in the men’s bathroom and walked into an orgy of gay porn. there was the time roxy sang “beautiful people”. there was the time we ran into the gays post-fallout.

and THEN there was the TMI time.

the bathrooms on the first floor in the back of the rave room were pretty grody. i didn’t know where any other bathrooms were for a long time, so that was the one i went to for probably 75% of my trips to the 90s. the walls were graffiti’d and gross, the lighting was dim, the floors wet and soupy, and toward the end of the night the toilets were always clogged. ugh.

so me and my girl(s) (who it was at the time, i’m not 100% – probably lisa and megan) went to use the bathroom. we waited in line. got to the front. i stepped into my stall and locked the door behind me, ready to behold the clogged toilet.

and clogged it was — with lady sex juices!! ack! sitting there on top of the mass of floating toilet paper in stagnant pee-colored water was a wad of TP with huge chunk of lube shining in the dim light.

well, someone was getting lucky tonight.

i put a square of TP over it, did my business, and got out of there. i didn’t tell anyone about because i knew it would gross megan out and i just forgot about telling lisa later (she might’ve appreciated it).

so…

i look fondly on my 90s days, and i certainly wouldn’t mind going back again sometime soon. the drag shows were awesome. people watching was awesome.  if branden called up and said, “hey! 90s!” i’d say “yeah! let’s go!” but i’d definitely use the upstairs bathrooms.

4 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday: 90s edition (read at your own risk)

    1. well, it was a dark and stormy night. (not really, but it makes for a good intro.) i can’t remember who else was with us, but liz, branden and i were sitting on the couches under the stairs on the landing between the two floors. liz was underage. branden and i had drinks – and liz wanted to try branden’s smirnoff (?). i don’t know why she didn’t ask branden, but she asked me if she could try it. i said as long as no bouncers were watching, who cares? she drank. one little sip.

      then this big dude stood right next to me, put his boot on the coffee table thing, and said, “you two are coming with me.”

      branden acted like he didn’t know us. scumbag. (but actually good cuz he was able to get the rest of the clan.)

      my first reaction was, “why?” “because she’s underage and that’s your drink.”

      whatever dude. not my drink. he took us downstairs, took our pictures, and said liz couldn’t come back til she was 21, and i was banned for a year. (that didn’t stop me – i came back 6 months later.)

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