supernatural or…

saturday night i went to a healer at the catholic church in town with liz, my dad, and his sister (religious aunt), as well as uncle and two cousins. (my mom had a cold and decided to stay home.) one cousin is pretty sick, so they were willing to make the drive from austin.

now i have seen and heard some weird stuff from people – speaking words (strangers telling others specifics), my dad’s wake-up call, and melissa’s calling. i’ve never experienced anything myself apart from a timely $20 i attribute to my uncle squire. i’m a cynic, but i know universal energy floats around from time to time. i’m also agnostic.

when people started lining up to have the healer lay his hands on them, i was surprised that almost everyone in the church was willing to go up. personally, i was freaked out about going up just because i was afraid something would happen. people were falling down after getting hands laid on them, including my non-sick cousin who was there. now, just for show, or not, i’m not sure.

my dad, a true cynic of this kind of thing, after i asked him if he was going up, said “why not?” and off we went.

i was so nervous about falling down that i almost fell down myself. but while the dude was laying his hands on me i almost started crying. spirit? self-awareness? who knows.

but here’s the rub: for show or not, something happens if you do feel something. whether it’s the spirit coming to show you her ways or god saying, “hey there!” or universal energy or self-awareness, it’s something. for me personally, i think it’s a combination of the energy in the room along with a self-awareness or self-realization.

when you think about it, everyone projects themselves onto who or what each thinks god is. there is no duplication of god anywhere on this planet. there are probably a looooot of close renditions, but each person’s own experience shapes each person’s perception of god – a reflection of self, really; your perfect self.

so, one person’s holy spirit is another person’s gaia is another person’s buddha is another person’s personal moral tendencies.

and if calling it touched by god is what it takes for a person to have a personal self-realization or calling? energy transforming through death as a way to get loved ones’ attention? the brain registering actual physical voices as a way to get you to figure out what you want to do with your life? physically healing as a result of positive self awareness or relaxation?

does it matter what we think it is versus what it actually is or what we call it as long as the end result is what needs to be?

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