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Day: April 13, 2021

in which i feel sorry for my work self for a bit

in which i feel sorry for my work self for a bit

my officemate took another job after being at the college for a little over four years. i’m actually surprised he worked here for this long – he lives in the cities and it’s a long commute. plus, he has a one year old, and, as i told my old boss, it was just a matter of time. i had given him a year after his kid was born, and he surprised me with a year and four months.

it still really sucks.

when you’re a department of two, a loss of one person lays groundwork for some lonely days ahead. six months after i first started this job, my then coworker quit for another job. i had only been there for six months and didn’t know anyone well; it takes me a long time to get into a groove at a workplace, normally around three years. on top of that, i was in a remote location on campus and didn’t see much of anyone.

i remember sitting in my office one day, just doing the work i could manage to do, and i felt this overwhelming sadness. had i made the right decision leaving my other job for this one? would i ever find any work friends? what was i doing here anyway? i didn’t even know that coworker for that long, but he was at least there, and i collaborated with him on a daily basis, so i wasn’t lonely.

tonight, after a week and a half of knowing my current officemate would be leaving, i was slammed with that sense of sadness, melancholy, and loneliness again. i know that it won’t be the same this time; i’ve been here for five years, know people well, count many as friends. i’m not isolated – i share a cube wall with an IT guy and we have a wonderful time during the workday. but it’s still hard to see someone you’ve talked to on a 5-daily basis for four years, who i spend more time with than my husband (the perils of working opposite shifts). he’s one of the most complementary workmates i’ve had, skillswise, and I don’t know if finding a replacement will be easy.

my hope is that we move on hiring someone as soon as possible. i haven’t even heard the confirmation that we will replace him, and that kind of scares me. i’m being overly cynical and pessimistic about what’s going to happen in my tiny department, but i at least know that there will be support in my other coworkers.

i wish him the best, but dang this really blows.