one of my favorite “get ready for christmas” memories when i was little was waiting for rudolph to show up TV. there is something missing in today’s streaming world where we’d have to watch and schedule our tv-show watching because if we didn’t, we’d miss it.

so when rudolph was scheduled to be on tv, we’d make sure we marked it on our calendar, because it was an event. instead of eating supper that evening, we’d get a sneak peak of christmas eve fare (which for the wallace fam is like snack central). my parents would cut some cheese up, put out some crackers, open a can of smoked oysters (i don’t know how canned meats became a symbol of fanciness for us, but it did), and *gasp* let us eat in the living room! my sibs and i would fill out plates and then sit on the floor in front of the tv to watch santa berate rudolph and anything out of the norm until it’s useful.

of course, we didn’t know that at the time. watching rudolph now is so cringeworthy. donner wants to cover up rudolph’s nose, a bunch of his peers call him names, and santa is pretty awful. and then there’s a whole island of misfits! what a bunch of bullies. you have to admire hermie though; the guy left the elf shop to pursue his dream of being a dentist even though his fellow elves wanted to force elfdom on him.

sorry to ruin rudolph for you. but come on. the end would have you believe that all is well, but i doubt that. i’m glad i wasn’t this cynical when i was eating smoked oysters on the living room floor.