last night i was nice and comfily asleep, lost in land of zzz’s when out of the corner of my dream-state hearing i note a weird cat noise.
eh, nothing of it. back to zzz land. nate, however, gets up and investigates. suddenly:
“KATE” – i look at the clock. it’s 3:30 a.m.
he runs into the bedroom, throws on the light. “the front door is wide open! that black stray cat was inside and i nearly pooped* my pants! ralf’s missing!”
i jumped out of bed, threw on sweatpants and sweatshirt, and hurried outside. chasey was patrolling the entryway like a cat sargeant, and i thought i saw sophie out of the corner of my eye.
grabbed flashlights on the way out and started calling for ralf. it wasn’t a long search – nate found him halfway to the intersection and hauled him inside. his tail was poofy but still curled up like a pig’s tail; it made for a weird combination.
no sign of sophie, so we did a house search for her, and she was under the bed, hiding.
so, i tried to get back asleep but was all keyed up, and i probably didn’t get back to actual sleep until probably 4:30-5.
i woke up for the morning groggy and headachey, but hauled myself out of bed. sophie, who normally is all up in my grill in the mornings, was nowhere to be seen (still under the bed).
today, i came home, and the first thing nate yelled when i walked in the door was HOME INVASION. chasey had puked on the bed twice during the day and was making attempts to puke all day. ralf was back to his usual dopey self. sophie was out from under the bed, and she hopped up in my lap. i started petting her, when i noticed a clot of something¬†above her left eye. she had a gouge above her eye and a scratch below her eye: that stray cat almost took sophie’s eyeball out.
i see who the real hero is here.**
*he didn’t say “pooped”
**it’s not ralf.

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