why i will never add you as my facebook friend

why i will never add you as my facebook friend

the other day i got a facebook friend request from my arch-nemesis from gradeschool. let’s call him bob. i had pictured this moment many times, wondering how long it would take for him to finally send the request; i have quite a few fb friends from gradeschool. in all scenarios, the moment ended with me laughing and ignoring the request.
bob might be a perfectly nice person now, but in kindergarten to fourth grade, he was the bane of my existence. unfortunately, bob was next to me alphabetically, which meant that most of the time, bob and i stood next to each other in line, waited for lunch next to each other, sat next together in class, etc. etc. (i was last for everything. this means i was more often than not in the back of the room, last person in the row of desks. curse you W last name!)
i remember one instance in first grade when i was doing my addition or words or something, and bob started throwing stuff at me, or making stupid faces at me, or something equally annoying. after ignoring him as best i could, i finally turned and waved my hands at him, hopefully getting him to shut up. it just so happened that the teacher decided to face the class at this moment, and there went my name on the chalkboard. (as consolation, bob already had his name on the board, so he got a checkmark. he also got his name on the board quite a bit, whereas my name up there was a rare occurrence.)
bookitwhat else just made me irate as a 7-year-old was the fact that he couldn’t finish his book-it books EVER. if everyone in a class finished their required book-it books in a month, the class would get a pizza party. everyone’s class got at least one pizza party, but bob never finished the five books in a month required to get the party. meanwhile, the teachers are ADDING dots after my books because i’m reading 5 times the requirements. how aggravating!
my mom tells the story that in third grade or so, i finally went up to the teacher and requested not to sit next to bob anymore. after fourth grade, he was gone from our class and placed in public school.
looking back, i realize that he was just an average little boy who probably had some degree of ADD, but to my gradeschool self, he was the antithesis of everything i stood for in school.
so when i finally got the request and laughed it, i had to tell my mom, who heard about bob every single day i was in school, i’m sure. she said it’s possible bob had a completely different experience than i did and thinks that being fb friends is more than reasonable. furthermore, i had taken a look at his profile (as much as i could), and it looks like he’s a web designer/developer so we would have something in common. this made me reflect for a moment and wonder if maybe i should give him a chance.
nah.
*delete*

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